Freebsd Fortunes 4

If you see an onion ring -- answer it!

If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers.
But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.
                -- Swami Prabhupada

If you sow your wild oats, hope for a crop failure.

If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from
many it's research.
                -- Wilson Mizner

If you stew apples like cranberries,
they taste more like prunes than rhubarb does.
                -- Groucho Marx

If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker,
It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock.
Or some joker who is slicker,
Will trick you of your liquor,
If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.

If you stick your head in the sand,
one thing is for sure, you're gonna get your rear kicked.

If you suspect a man, don't employ him.

If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have
schizophrenia.
                -- Thomas Szasz

If you teach your children to like computers and to know how to gamble
then they'll always be interested in something and won't come to no real
harm.